"कुतूहल Express (ऊर्फ गार्गी) Episode-2

चायनाच्या उद्योगांमुळे "Undercover Agent" होण्याचं सर्वांना भाग्य लाभलं. कलाकार मंडळी या काळात काय काय करत आहेत याचा आढावा एक न्यूज चॅनल घेत होतं. त्यामध्ये चि. सौ. कां. कॅटरीना कैफ भांडी कशी घासावीत याचं प्रात्यक्षिक देत होती. ऊगाच गार्गीला डिवचायचा छंद उफाळून आला. मग पुढील प्रसंग असा होता:

मी: गार्गी, ती बघ भांडी कशी घासायची शिकवतीए. किती छान आहे ना ती?

गार्गी: हो!

मी: आणायचं का तिला आपल्या घरी भांडी घासायला?

गार्गी: (अगदी हसत खूष होऊन) हो आणू!

पगलीने आंसू ला दिए मेरी आंखोंमें

"कुतूहल Express (ऊर्फ गार्गी) Episode-1" (11th Oct-2019)

Conversation with Gargi while watching an ad of Fogg on TV:

PART1:

गार्गी - "पप्पा, त्याचा शल्ट कता काय उलून गेला"

पप्पा - "अगं, जोरात वारं आलं होतं म्हणून उडून गेला"

गार्गी - "कतं काय जोलात वालं आलं?"

पप्पा - "पाऊस येणार होता ना म्हणून जोरात वारं आलं होतं"

__________________________________________________

PART2:

(The same ad being aired 2nd time on TV)

गार्गी - "पप्पा, जोलात वांलं आलं म्हणून त्याचा शल्ट उलून गेला".

पप्पा आणि मम्मी: LMAO

बप्पीदा के अम्रूतवचन: भाग-7: "तुझे लागे ना नजरीया, बंद हो गया ट्विटरीया" - 5th May

(After seeing her latest video on Twitter account suspension)

Link: https://fb.watch/5JkIQYcsAo/

No...these are not the tears for her Twitter account suspension.

These are pearls falling from her eyes ..... pearls of wisdom oozing out from the gutter.... sorry, I mean her mouth.

Just look at the pain the poor lady is undergoing. She came out to raise her voice without any make-up or Jazzy costume.

Now how much real a celebrity has to be?

Those are real tears man and not donated by Crocodiles like a milkman delivers milk early in the morning. That anguish in low decibels is noticeable. क्या आपको इसकी गूंज सुनाई नहीं दे रही?

This saddens me. My inner soul is tremendously shaken and I am writing all this with a "थरथरता हात" due to that.

I feel like screaming and saying "कुठे नेऊन ठेवलाय रिपब्लिक भारत माझा".

Under normal circumstances, this Didi....the only brave warrior India has ever witnessed... would have sat in Republic TV studio and poured out all the petrol....diesel....kerosene stored with her & would have contributed towards the only noble cause on the earth i.e. awakening of the Hindus.

Yes. Twitter shall pay for their heinous crime of suspending the account of our lovely "Lady बों.बा."

You close her easiest train which she catches every time to speak her heart out?

You come in between a direct communication between her and us?

I know Twitter is jealous of her since a single person was acting as a teacher who teached us various subjects without any Zoom calls, scoring or fear of failure.

Twitter wants us to remain illiterate and not get enlightened through any crash courses available on बोबडी Didi's handle.

I agree with Kangana Didi. It's a huge international conspiracy.

Anything and everything that happens in India is a huge conspiracy as taught by Didi's syllabus. Even her birth was a conspiracy is what she taught us during one of her lecture. That's why she doesn't respect her parents.

Mr. Twitter, kindly reactivate Didi's account or we will start a brand new movement for her called "Go Twitter Go" and dance on the song "Kangana re, Kangana re, iska account shuru karwa".

If you still remain unperturbed then we will apply "Kangana's rule in India" and ensure that nobody uses Twitter!

- A saddened bhakt

बप्पीदा के अम्रूत वचन: भाग-6: ** An Open Letter To Twitter ** - 4th May-2021

Dear Twitter,

How can you suspend the account of our National Wannabe Environmentalist?

Why are you depriving us from her profound ocean of knowledge?

You cannot hold back a lady with an "Entire Environmental Science" degree.

We are yet to witness many new, instant inventions and discoveries from her.

Who else better than her teaches us about our religion, politics, nature, history of Bollywood, debates and what not.

You may suspend her account but can't suspend a visionary's vision.

IPL is also suspended. So in the current grim situation, we need some constant source of entertainment and you want to block that happiness too?

पहले पप्पू था... फिर फेकंचंद चाचा आए (जो फिलहाल अपना टेस्टोस्टेरॉन नाॅर्मल लेव्हल पर आने के बाद देश पर ध्यान देनेकी कोशिश कर रहे है और कुछ ड्रास्टिक निर्णय ले रहे है) और बादमे आयी हमारी दुलारी MoneyShittyka!

Oh Twitter, how can you be so heartless!!!

कहां भुगतोगे अपने पाप का फल??

We need our O2 of laughter ride back on Twitter.

बप्पीदा के अम्रूत वचन (भाग-5): ममतासे वंचित 'टागोर' - 3rd May

"शेवटी 'नटसम्राटाला' मोरूची मावशी जड गेलीच म्हणायची!"

मेंदूला 'नारूचा रोग' झाल्यावर अजून काय होणार!

बप्पीदा के अम्रूत वचन (भाग- 4): "कोटा फॅक्टरी ऑफ नॅशनल अवॉर्ड!" - 23rd March-2021

 First the 'Queen' evoked sympathy in the hearts of people using "Sushant Singh's" name especially via 'PeePublic TV' and then she kept supporting the non-sense stuff thrown by the government towards the common man and successfully running the BJP campaign everywhere.

Result = 4th (Anti) National Award sponsored by "अखिल भारतीय थोबाड फाडा ट्विटर संघटना" (not to forget last year's Padma Shri award) for Manikarnika and Panga (they missed to add 'Judgemental hai kya' as the 3rd name since movies of same actress won't look good!)

The self-declared icon of Bollywood was already bragging a lot about her previous 2 National awards and here comes another one in her kitty! अब तो पूछोही मत!

I humbly request all other actresses of Bollywood to take a temporary break till Miss. Hangawat has a strong covalent bond with BJP. Your efforts won't get recognized at least at National level.

Similar story with 'Chhichhore'. No doubt it was one of the best movie of Bollywood with 8.2 Imdb rating. However, would it receive the same treatment if Sushant was alive today?

If he would have been alive then the award would have obviously gone to Canada Kumar's 'Kesari' or 'URI' for sure (both being BJP's main tools). The 'pitch' on which didi batted so well had to be recognized along with her own efforts!

There were some more deserving movies like 'Section 375', 'Article 15' or may be 'Saand Ki Aankh' which were also released in 2019. Sadly nobody from these movies came ahead on BJP's dance floor to constantly dance on their tunes.

Anyways, the debate always revolves around the National Awards once they are declared. However, there are some sensible selections too. Like Manoj Bajpayee's Best Actor for 'Bhonsle'.

I am sure few eye-balls would have witnessed this and the name would be unheard to many ears.

After seeing Bhonsle last year in June'20, I had shared my honest opinion on Mr.Bajpayee's Instagram account about what I felt after seeing Bhonsle, his overall acting skills and how I am his fan since his 1st movie. I also predicted that 'Bhonsle' will receive many awards. After winning the Best Actor award at the 'Asia Pacific Screen Awards', Manoj bags yet again the Best Actor award for 'Bhonsle', his 3rd ever National Award (never bragged about it of course .

So with some mandatory goof-ups, National Awards do compensate it by chosing realistic winners!

बप्पीदा के अम्रूत वचन (भाग-3): "मोटेरा में इंग्लैंड का फटेरा!" - 25th Feb-2021

 " एक लडका था... गॅंवारसा

दाढी बढाके घुमा करता था,

हिंदू-मुसलमान करता था,

जब भी मुँह खोलता था

लंबी लंबी फेंकता था,

नजरे झुकाके, शरमाके

प्रेस कॉन्फरन्सेस टाला करता था,

खुलेआम दिन दहाडे, देशको बेचा करता था,

जब भी कहना था कुछ उसको

सिर्फ मन की बांते करता था,

बनाके स्टेडियम अपना, कुछ कहता था अंग्रेजोंसे

देखता हूँ, इंग्लैंड कैसे जीतता है.... के इंग्लैंड कैसे जीतता है। "

अब जरा दम हो तो कोई बोलके दिखाए पिच के बारेमे। सेडिशन के नाम पर जेल ना भिजवा दे तो नाम बप्पीदा नहीं हमरा।

ए इंग्लैंड!! अपनी औकादमें रह। सब "मोटाभाई" एकसाथ आके इतना बढियासा स्टेडियम खड़ा किये है। कौनो माई के लाल में इतनी हिम्मत नहीं के भारतको इस पिच पर हरा सके। ये मॅच भला हम हारतेही कैसे? वो हार भारतकी नहीं बल्कि पूरे 'टागोरजी' की हार मानी जाती। भाई दिन दहाड़े दंगे हो जाते बोल देता हूँ।

काश .. भारतके सारे पिचेस 'वैक्सीन गुरु' ही बनवाते तो भारत हमेशा अजेय रहता।

एक देशभक्त क्रिकेटप्रेमी!!