" Bappida's Chef Diary- 8: Kaalu Fikki (16th June-2017) "

(Recap: Ginger T, Negro Masala Papad, Paratha-e-Omelette, Egg Pulusu, Masala-e-Maggie, French toast and Mango Messenger)

I entered (rather had to enter) in this business of Chef Diaries since my wife was unwell. At that time, I never knew that the journey would go so long that my laziness gets converted into passion. Anyways... After the arrival of maid for cooking I somehow thought that it's an end to my Chef Diary's journey.... पर खुदा को ये मंजूर न था!

Today again wife was unwell along with my kid.... So got a chance to enter the kitchen when they both were sleeping. As usual surfed some websites and saw some videos to try an easiest and fastest snack to cook before my wife wakes up. "Aloo Tikki" is what I decided to 'dissect' today. One website said cooking time is just 14 mins.... I said 'Wow' 10 times silently for finding such a shortcut recipe.

I had never boiled potatoes earlier and never did I bother to see the procedure of it. So took a bowl and started boiling them without putting a lid on the bowl. N I was wondering why they hell I started boiling 1st by sweat but potatoes somehow were as fresh as the 1st kiss sitting in the bowl and smiling at me. I got furiated by their naughtiness and switched off the regulator of gas and started unpeeling one potato. That's when I realized that they were half-girlfriend .... I mean half-cooked. Again I prepared the whole set and sent them on stage. Then it clicked to me that cooked potatoes are born only in a Cooker... Rather then taking a risk of playing with a cooker, I resorted to an easier option of covering the bowl with a lid for faster cooking. Thank god it worked.... It had to as there was no water left to boil in the bowl after evaporation !!!

Then followed a dancing and juggling act of unpeeling all the hot potatoes.....mixing all the ingredients (found in various videos on u tube and adding some new ones which my brain suggested) and making a dough out of it. (At one point, my hand looked so fabulous with all the stuff sticking and hiding within the gap of my fingers that I started believing that I am an owner of a chat stall). I tasted a small portion to ensure that my Wife wud at least say "Good" if not "Wow". There was hardly any taste of whatever I had put in d dough. My poor brain thought that after a shallow fry, the actual taste might appear (which currently was on disappear mode). However I guess the brain might have stopped functioning after marriage. The bloody taste didn't come even after frying a dozen of Tikkis. I did some post mortem on the last few tikkis like garnishing with coriander and finely chopped onion and eating the tikki with Maggie Picku, Tandoor Mozzarella and Tomato Sauce along with Chat Masala standing at the entrance gate.

As usual wife had a limited share and this शेर had to fight with his own nemesis. Today I again learnt that all YouTube videos are fake and they misguide u.......साला एक आलू टिक्की पर उसकेभी लफडे हजार! You will get confused which recipe to follow and may decide to "Unfollow" Potato after that unresolved confusion. YouTube वाले उधर हमें ऊल्लू बनाते है और यहाँ घरवाली समझती है के उसके "अजी सुनते हो" ही पगले है!! अब उसे क्या पता के उसके पतीदेवने Champion Trophy का सेमी-फायनल मॅच कुरबान करके ये नायाब पेशकश अपनी दिलकश मेहबूबा के लिए बनाई है.....

जी तो कर रहा था की नजदिकी "डेल्ली चाट" वालेके पास जाकर बोल आऊं के भाई तेरेसे ज्यादा माल तो मैने इस्तमाल किया है पर भीडकी तो जाने दो कमसे कम बिवीकी वाहवाही तो मिले भैय्या!!!

My Wonder kid is pretty sharp now itself in terms of taste of different eatables as she has her own preferences. So I have to improve faster as a Chef before she realizes that her father was a Donald Trump in cooking..... जल्दही नहीं सुधरा तो बेगमकी जली कटी सुनने की तादाद और बढ जाएगी जब हमारा Top-up Plan भी उसके गुटमें शामील हो जाएगा!!!! हे प्रभू.... अपने भक्त की रक्षा करो!!!!